For many people, humor is sacred, especially at family gatherings such  as Christmas dinners. All it takes is a few good jokes to get everyone in the mood. In addition, giggles are good for the body and the mind. Everyone needs it to relax and clear their heads to better welcome the new year. However, to avoid offending a few and shocking an aunt or grandma, you have to be careful with the jokes chosen. 

We therefore reserve black humor for after-work parties with friends or colleagues. Indeed, if you don’t want the family meal to turn into sermons on morality, it would be better  to bet on good Christmas jokes that will make young and old laugh! Continue to read and choose the best christmas jokes to make people laugh and be more cheerful on Christmas day.

Christmas jokes

Spending Christmas with family is a source of joy. Between feasts, gifts, decorations, reunions… it’s the friendliest time of the year. However, organizing all of this can be stressful. And family reunions can bring up some tensions. In order to create a more relaxed atmosphere, and get everyone in the mood, nothing better than cracking a few jokes. Here are the Christmas jokes that will make your family laugh.

🎄Why is it so difficult to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered.

🎄How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house!

🎄What’s an elf’s favorite sport? North Pole-vaulting.

🎄Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.

🎄How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-deer.

🎄Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He has Claus-trophobia.

🎄Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.

🎄What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Geome-tree!

🎄What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

🎄What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has noel.

🎄What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice Krispies.

🎄What is a Christmas tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!

🎄What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum. You can’t beat it!

🎄How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.

🎄What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

🎄What comes at the end of Christmas? The letter “S”!

🎄Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!

🎄How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

🎄What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo.

🎄What do you call it when Santa takes a break? A Santa Pause.

🎄What kind of music do elves like to listen to? Wrap!

🎄What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.

🎄How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With a cookie sheet!

🎄What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.

🎄Where do reindeer go for coffee? Star-bucks!

🎄Why is a foot a good Christmas present? Because it makes a good stocking filler.

🎄How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!

🎄Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles.

🎄What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!

🎄Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!

🎄What says “Oh, Oh, Oh” and wears a big red suit? Santa walking backwards!

🎄What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.

🎄What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.

🎄What did Santa say at the start of the race? Ready, set, ho ho ho!

🎄What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

🎄Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.

🎄What does Rudolph want for Christmas? The newest Sleigh Station.

🎄What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

🎄What did Santa say when he stepped in a puddle? It looks like it reindeer.

🎄How can you tell when Santa is around? He always makes his presents known!

🎄How do you wash your hands over the holidays? With Santa-tizer.

🎄What happened to the elf who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

🎄What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.

🎄What’s Santa’s favorite type of potato chip? Kringles!

🎄Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history.

🎄What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

🎄What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

🎄What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal snowman.

🎄What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!

🎄What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

🎄What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.

🎄Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

Christmas dad jokes

Experience shows that the period before Christmas is already stressful enough (because of the gifts, the decorations, the dishes…), so the jokes about Christmas are just what it takes to lighten the atmosphere a little. And maybe even a little mulled wine always helps. Christmas isn’t all about lights, presents and decorated trees – there are also loads of hilarious Christmas jokes! Read down below and choose the best christmas dad jokes and make your kids laugh even more on Christmas day.

🎁What would you get if you cross a detective with Santa? The Santa Clues.

🎁What do all the elves have to do when they come home after school? They do their gnome work.

🎁What animal at Santa’s workshop is the wettest? The rain-deer.

🎁What did one snowman say to the other? You’re cool.

🎁How much did Santa have to pay when he went to buy his sleigh? Nothing. Because it was on the house.

🎁Where do reindeer go if they lose a tail? The retail store.

🎁What did the cop say when he a snowman stealing? Freeze!

🎁Where do Santa and all his helpers keep their money safely? At the snowbank.

🎁What type of cars do the elves of Santa Claus drive? The Toy-otas.

🎁What did Santa and Mrs. Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas.

🎁What did Rudolph have to say about a big book of noses that Santa gifted him? He said, “I already red that one.

🎁Why did Santa’s helper need to go to a therapist? Probably because he had very low elf-esteem.

🎁What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole? Iceberg lettuce.

🎁What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs? A snowball.

🎁Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They keeping dropping their needles.

🎁What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.

🎁Why does Santa use GPS? He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.

🎁How does Santa Claus keep track of every fireplace he has already visited? Well, he keeps a log.

🎁What’s the favorite Christmas Carol of every new parent? Silent Night.

🎁What is the nationality of Santa Claus? He is North Pole-ish.

🎁What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast.

🎁What do you call festive ducks? Christmas quackers.

🎁Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They have snowcaps.

🎁Why did the Grinch decide to go to the haunted house the other day? Because he was searching for the holiday spirit.

🎁What would you give a dog as a present for Christmas? The best present would be mobile bone.

🎁Where do Santa and his reindeers stop for coffee in between their journey? They go to Star-bucks.

🎁What did the reindeer say before he went up to the comedy show to tell a joke? He said, “This one’s going to sleigh you.

🎁How can you tell that Santa is real? You can sense his presents whenever he comes.

🎁How does Santa Claus take photos with the good kids? Well, he does it with a Pole-aroid camera.

🎁What happens to Santa if he even gets stuck in a chimney? He’s hit with Claustrophobia.

🎁What do all the reindeers hang on the Christmas trees at their home? The horn-aments.

🎁Did you hear about the anxious snowman? He needed to chill out.

🎁Where do gingerbread men sleep? On cookie sheets.

🎁Why do birds fly south for Christmas? It’s too far to walk.

🎁What would you call Santa if he went bankrupt? He’d be called Saint Nickel-less.

🎁Who’s Santa Claus’s favorite pop star? It’s Beyon-sleigh.

🎁How do you wish a dog Merry Christmas? Feliz Navi-dog.

🎁What did the gingerbread man use when he had to keep his bed cozy and warm? He used a cookie sheet.

🎁Why is Santa so good at karate? He’s got a black belt.

🎁What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other? Let’s take an elfie.

🎁Who says “Oh, oh, oh?” Santa Claus walking backward.

🎁What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down? He got it mistle-toed.

🎁What would you get if you cross a Christmas special decorative plant and a frog? A mistle-toad.

🎁Who’s the snowman’s favorite rapper? Ice Cube.

🎁What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.

🎁Where is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? It’s Idaho-ho-ho.

🎁What is the best Christmas present you can get anyone? A broken drum because you just can’t beat it.

🎁What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Fleece Navidad.

🎁What other name can you call the little helpers belonging to Santa? The subordinate clauses.

🎁What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

🎁Which body part is the only one that you can see on Christmas eve? The mistle-toe.

🎁What happens when you combine Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker.

🎁What do you call a two-legged reindeer? Eileen.

🎁What did Santa ask Rudolph when he wanted to ask about the condition of the weather? He asked, “Do you think it will rain, dear?

🎁What did one angel say to the other? Halo there!

🎁Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.

🎁What did one snowman say to the other? You smell carrots, too?

🎁What does Santa loves to eat for breakfast? The Frosted Flakes.

🎁What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day? The letter Y.

🎁How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.

🎁What’s Santa Claus’s favorite snack? The Ice Krispie treats.

🎁Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

🎁Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don’t work.

🎁What do the little helpers of Santa learn when they first go to school? They learn the elf-abets.

🎁Why is it always really, really cold around the time of Christmas? Probably because it’s in the month of Decembrrrrrrrr.

🎁What is the very best Christmas song you can sing to the pet rock that you have? ‘Rocking Around The Christmas Tree’.

🎁Why does Snoop Dog always love giving gifts to everyone? Probably because he’s very good at wrapping.

🎁Did you hear about the angry snowman? It had a meltdown.

🎁Why do all the Christmas trees like being in the past the most? That’s because the present is beneath them.

🎁What would you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus? He’d be called the rebel without a Claus.

🎁Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.

🎁What does Santa call the snowmen’s offspring at the North Pole? Chill-dren.

🎁What did the one snowman say to the other? It said, “Do you also smell carrots?

🎁What did the doctor say the dad had because he kept eating Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.

🎁What is the best Christmas gift for a person that already has everything? Well, a burglar alarm.

🎁What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas? Seasonings greetings!

🎁Where does Santa always stay when he goes on any vacation? At the ho-ho-ho-tel.

🎁Where do you find reindeer? I dunno, depends on where you left them.

🎁What does Santa use to clean his sleigh? Comet.

🎁What do the elves post on Social Media when they go some place nice? Their elf-ies.

🎁How can you tell if a snowman doesn’t like you? He gives you the cold shoulder.

🎁Did you hear about the snowman prom? It was a snowball.

Christmas jokes for kids

🎊What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she saw this year’s Christmas tree? You could spruce it up a little!

🎊How is Drake like an elf? He spends all his time wrapping!

🎊What is the Christmas carol that you can sing to fruits on the happy event? “Have Yourself A Berry Little Christmas.

🎊What is the best Christmas present you can get? It’s the broken Drum. You cannot just beat it!

🎊Why wouldn’t Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant? It cost a pretty penne!

🎊Where would you find a snowman dancing? At a snowball!

🎊With what do the reindeers decorate their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.

🎊What do you call when Santa stops moving? The Santa Pause.

🎊How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!

🎊Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping!

🎊What do golfers get in their stockings? Silly putty!

🎊Who’s Santa Claus’s favorite pop star? It’s Beyon-sleigh.

🎊Why was the Snowman looking into the carrots? Because he was picking his Nose!!

🎊How does Rudolf get to know when Christmas is approaching? He refers to the Calen-deer.

🎊Why was Santa’s little helper sad and sulking? Because he had very low elf-esteem.

🎊Is it going to rain, dear?

🎊What did Adam say the day before Christmas? OMG!! It’s Christmas “Eve”!!

🎊Do you know the kid who was scared of Santa? He was Claus- trophobic.

🎊What happens when you combine Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker.

🎊What do you call a greedy elf?  We call them Elfish.

🎊What is the snowman’s favorite type of food? The Iceberg-ers!!

🎊How does Darth Vader enjoy his Turkey for Christmas? On the dark side!!

🎊What do you think is the name of a grumpy Reindeer? Rude-olph.

🎊Why do reindeer like Beyonce so much? She sleighs.

🎊How does the snow globe feel every year? A little shaken !!

🎊How long are an elf’s legs? Just long enough to reach the ground!

🎊What did the Doctor say to the angry advent calendar? Sorry, your days are numbered!!

🎊How did the reindeer know it was going to rain? Because Rudolph the red-knows-rain, deer!

🎊What do you get when there is a cross between a vampire and a Snowman? A Frostbite.

🎊What’s worse than a reindeer with a runny nose? A snowman with a fever!

🎊Where does the Polar Bear vote? The North Poll.

🎊How do the Snowmen travel around? They ride the icicle!!

🎊Where does Santa always stay when he goes on any vacation? At the ho-ho-ho-tel.

🎊What’s red, white, and green? Santa Claus when he’s travel sick!

🎊What is Santa’s favourite place to give presents? Idaho-ho-ho!!

🎊Which kind of ball can you throw and not expect to bounce? The snowball.

🎊What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast? Hold on for deer life.

🎊How do you expect a sheep to say Merry Christmas? Flee-ee-ce Navidad!!

🎊The Stamp said something to the Christmas tree, can you guess what? Stick with me and we are going to go places!

🎊What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!

🎊What comes at the end of Christmas? Come on, the letter “S.

🎊What is Santa’s favorite motorcycle? The Holly Davidson.

🎊What can you call Santa’s little helpers? The Subordinate clauses.

🎊What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper!

🎊What do you think the snowmen wear on their heads? The Snow Caps.

🎊What did Santa Claus’s little helper pals learn at the school? The Elf-abet.

🎊What do you call when your Santa becomes a detective? Clues. Santa Clues!!

🎊What does “her Majesty” call her own Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.

🎊What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather on the day of Christmas?

🎊What did the pop culture dancers eat during Christmas? Twerky!!

🎊Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer!

🎊What do you call the cat that is sitting on the beach during Christmas eve? The Sandy Claws.

🎊What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree after a long conversation? It was nice gnawing you!!

🎊In which year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? Every Year.

🎊What are the photos of elves called? The Elfies!!

🎊How does the snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer!!

🎊Why does the Christmas tree visit the barber every year? It needs to be trimmed.

🎊What do you think the elves do after their school gets over? The gnome-work.

🎊Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it soots him!

🎊What do you call the Santa who is broke? Santa Nickel-less.

🎊What goes “Oh! Oh! Oh!”? Santa going backward. LOL!!

🎊What do you call the kid in your group who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!!

🎊How can you say Christmas Day is exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a pretty suit gets all the credit.

🎊What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly!

🎊What does Santa Claus do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!!

🎊What do the monkeys sing on Christmas Eve? The Jungle Bells!!

🎊What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!

🎊What do you believe the snowmen eat for breakfast? A bowl of Frosted Flakes.

🎊What do you think is the nationality of Santa ? He is North Pole-ish.

🎊What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

🎊What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? The Cookie sheets.

🎊What do you guess is the Christmas tree’s favorite candy? The Orna-Mints.

🎊What is the one thing that falls on the North Pole and never tends to get hurt? It’s the snow!

Funny christmas jokes

Christmas is certainly the most awaited holiday of the year not only by children who want to receive gifts, but also by adults who want to experience the magic of this period. Among the watchwords of Christmas, in addition to brotherhood and love, there is happiness. And for this very reason we have collected here the most beautiful funny phrases about Christmas. Continue to read and choose the best funny christmas jokes to share with family and friends.

🎉What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemistree.

🎉Who’s the snowman’s favorite rapper? Ice Cube.

🎉Did you hear about Rudolph’s rollercoaster ride? He held on for deer life.

🎉I love you from head to mistletoe.

🎉What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.

🎉You’re sleigh-in’ it.

🎉What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’m feelin’ pine.

🎉I only have ice for you.

🎉Here’s a mistletoe-ken of my appreciation.

🎉Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most? Rude Olph.

🎉Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.

🎉What do you call a two-legged reindeer? Eileen.

🎉The snuggle is real.

🎉What do you call an elf that can sing? A wrapper.

🎉What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.

🎉What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

🎉What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.

🎉Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve? They’re calling for rain, dear!

🎉Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don’t work.

🎉What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other? Let’s take an elfie.

🎉What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.

🎉How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.

🎉I’m pine-ing for you.

🎉Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.

🎉What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw their Christmas tree? It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.

🎉What do you get when you cross vampires and snowmen? Frostbite.

🎉What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.

🎉What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy? Snow caps.

🎉You have to branch out.

🎉What type of Christmas dessert shouldn’t you trust? Mince spies.

🎉What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!

🎉What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus!

🎉Believe in your elf.

🎉What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

🎉That look soots you.

🎉What kind of linens do gingerbread men put on their beds? Cookie sheets.

🎉Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They keeping dropping their needles.

🎉Where do gingerbread men sleep? On cookie sheets.

🎉Did you hear about the snowman prom? It was a snowball.

🎉Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? He’s cool.

🎉What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.

🎉What does a festive sheep say at Christmastime? Fleece Navidad.

🎉What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

🎉Why is Santa so good at karate? He’s got a black belt.

🎉We’re orna-meant to be.

🎉Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.

🎉What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

🎉What do baby elves learn in Kindergarten at the North Pole? The elf-abet.

🎉Did you hear about the anxious snowman? He needed to chill out.

🎉Did you hear about the angry snowman? It had a meltdown.

🎉What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve? You get a mistletow.

🎉Your decorations look treemendous.

🎉What do you call an old snowman? Water.

🎉What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.

🎉Why was the candy cane so expensive? It was in mint condition.

🎉What did one snowman say to the other? You smell carrots, too?

🎉Claus all of me…loves all of you.

🎉What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there’s myrrh.

🎉Love at frost sight.

🎉How did Rudolph survive his first trip with Santa? He held on for deer life.

🎉Sleigh queen, sleigh.

🎉I love you a whole watt.

🎉What did Santa and Mrs. Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas.

🎉What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole? Jollyfish.

🎉What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole? Elf-abet soup!

🎉Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.

🎉We have great chemis-tree.

🎉What would you get if you ate all the Christmas tree decorations? Tinselitis.

Dirty christmas jokes

🎈I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled again.

🎈What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? Yule-Tide.

🎈What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

🎈I feel like a Christmas tree when you talk to me because I light up.

🎈I didn’t think I was a snowman but you just made me melt.

🎈We don’t need a sleigh, you can ride me instead.

🎈Wanna Scrooge?

🎈I want your chestnuts roasting on my open fire.

🎈Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot’s him.

🎈Thanks to you, I never have a blue Christmas.

🎈Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.

🎈Want a gift? Because my best toys run on batteries.

🎈Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager? She couldn’t run a stable government!

🎈What is Santa’s favorite pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!

🎈Are you Christmas? Because I want to merry you.

🎈I know what gift I want to give you tonight.

🎈When we met, it was love at frost sight.

🎈What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!

🎈What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones? Blitzen-krieg Bop.

🎈What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.

🎈How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?

🎈Let me help you out of that ugly sweater.

🎈I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.

🎈Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

🎈What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

🎈What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!

🎈Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.

🎈I just got some mistletoe, how about we go back to my place and try it out?

🎈The milk and cookies at my place taste good for breakfast too.

🎈You’re the only reindeer for me.

🎈Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight.

🎈Wanna see the toys the elves made for adults?

🎈What’s the difference between Santa and a knight? One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.

🎈Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

🎈The Grinch may have stolen Christmas, but you stole my heart.

🎈You make me more excited than gifts under a Christmas tree.

🎈How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? He uses Comet.

🎈Come over here and let me jingle your bells.

🎈Santa isn’t the only one coming to town.

🎈What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you!

🎈What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause!

🎈I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas?

🎈If a big man puts you in a bag tonight, don’t worry. I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

🎈Call me your Christmas tree, because you’re turning me on.

🎈What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

🎈Forget Santa, you’re on my nice list.

🎈Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

🎈How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.

🎈I’ll be home for Christmas—and I want you to come with me.

🎈All I want for Christmas is you. *cue Mariah Carey singing*

🎈Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed!

🎈Do you like the song “Jingle Bells”? Because we could go all the way.

🎈How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.

🎈Forget 12 days of Christmas, I want 12 days with you.

Christmas jokes 2021

One of the biggest annual festivals in the world, Christmas 2021 was just around the corner. People are busy preparing to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. As far as religion is concerned, this is only the festival of Christians, but putting religion aside, people of all religions around the world celebrate this festival every year. Every year, Christmas is marked on the same date, and that is December 25. At Christmas, people perform popular customs such as – exchanging gifts, decorating Christmas trees, attending church, etc.

🔔What do you call a laptop growing on your Christmas tree? A pineapple.

🔔How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in the manger.

🔔What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

🔔How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!

🔔How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.

🔔Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole? No well, no well.

🔔What does Santa spend his hard-earned salary on? Jingle bills.

🔔Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.

🔔What do you call a search engine that singes Christmas songs? Michel Google.

🔔What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.

🔔Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.

🔔What happened when the snowgirl broke up with the snowboy? She gave him the cold shoulder.

🔔What brand of motorcycle does Santa ride? Holly Davidson.

🔔What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who.

🔔How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

🔔Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.

🔔What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense? “But wait, there’s myrrh!

🔔Why did Scrooge refuse to eat at the Italian restaurant? It costs a pretty penne.

🔔What do you call a snowman who vacations in the tropics? A puddle.

🔔Why did only the letter “E” get a Christmas present? The other letters were not E.

🔔How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.

🔔What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.

🔔The three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

🔔What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

🔔What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis!

🔔Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

🔔A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?

🔔What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!

🔔How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

🔔What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.

🔔What’s it called when you go out to buy a piano this holiday? Christmas Chopin.

🔔What do you call an Elf on the Shelf who just won the lottery? Welfy.

🔔What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Fleece Navidad.

🔔What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!

🔔What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.

🔔What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

🔔Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noel Coward.

🔔Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.

🔔My friend just won the tallest Christmas tree competition. I thought to myself, ‘How can you top that?’

🔔Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.

🔔What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.

🔔Why does Scrooge love reindeer? Because every buck is deer to him.

🔔Where would you find a Christmas tree? Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four.

🔔What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.

🔔Why does Drake love giving gifts? He’s really good at wrapping!

🔔How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.

🔔What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

🔔I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.

🔔What goes “Oh Oh Oh”? Santa walking backwards.

🔔Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.

🔔How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.

🔔Why did the snowman turn yellow? Ask the little boy over there.

🔔What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf Actually.

🔔Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife was a total flake.

🔔Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He has Claus-trophobia.

🔔How do you wash your hands over the holiday? With Santatizer.

🔔What’s the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

🔔If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be? A subordinate Claus.

🔔What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.

Christmas jokes clean

🔅What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.

🔅How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house.

🔅Where does Santa cash his checks? At the snow bank.

🔅What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A “Holly” Davidson.

🔅Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he’s claus-trophobic.

🔅What do you call a cat who works for Santa? Santa Claws.

🔅Who is Santa’s least favorite reindeer? Rude-olph.

🔅Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-hotel.

🔅How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

🔅What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

🔅How does Santa get his sleigh to fly? I have no eye deer.

🔅What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.

🔅Why did Mrs. Claus get mad at Santa? Because her husband was a flake.

🔅What you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.

🔅Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of? Comet.

🔅How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.

🔅What’s Santa’s favorite potato chip? Kringles.

🔅Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.

🔅Why does Santa have trouble spelling? He thinks the alphabet has Noel.

🔅Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.

🔅Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital? Because he has private elf care.

🔅What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.

🔅What’s red and green and flies? A sleigh-sick Santa.

🔅What’s big and jolly and says, “Oh, oh, oh”? Santa Claus walking backwards.

🔅What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.

🔅Who delivers Christmas presents to cats and dogs? Santa Paws.

🔅How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house!

🔅How did Santa’s little helper stop eating cookies? He used elf control.

🔅What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

🔅How does Santa take care of sick people? He nurses them back to elf.

🔅What do you call Santa when he’s wearing ear muffs? Anything, he can’t hear you.

🔅Why does Santa go through the chimney? Because it soots him.

🔅What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

🔅Why was Santa’s little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem.

🔅What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

Corny christmas jokes

The Christmas most awaited day of the year, especially for children who wait to wake up in the morning with gifts left under the Santa Claus tree. According to the Christian tradition col Christmas the birth of Christ is celebrated, the descent of God on earth in the body of a man. In recent years, however, this holiday has become a bit too consumerist and more and more people would like to boycott it or at least bring it back to something more spiritual. Use these corny christmas jokes to make everyone laugh on Christmas day.

🍀How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.

🍀What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!

🍀What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!

🍀Why are turkeys wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?

🍀What happens to elves when they are naughty? Santa gives them the sack!

🍀What type of key do you need for a Nativity play? A don-key!

🍀What do you call a baby snowman? A snowball!

🍀What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense? “But wait, there’s myrrh!

🍀Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noel Coward.

🍀What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis!

🍀Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

🍀What’s red and green and flies? An airsick Santa Claus!

🍀What do you call an old snowman? Water.

🍀What kind of cars do elves like to drive? A Toy-ota or an Elfa-romeo!

🍀What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus!

🍀What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

🍀How long do a reindeer’s legs have to be? Long enough to touch the ground!

🍀How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.

🍀Why can’t Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!

🍀How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!

🍀What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.

🍀What’s a sheep’s favourite Christmas song? “Fleece Navidad”!

🍀What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move? Santa Pause!

🍀Why doesn’t Santa Claus think of the past or the future? Because he likes to live in the present!

🍀What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? Welfy!

🍀A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?

🍀My friend just won the tallest Christmas tree competition. I thought to myself, ‘How can you top that?’

🍀Why did the snowman retire from sport? Snow competition!

🍀What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!

🍀People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there’s a whole world of difference between them.

🍀How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

🍀What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper!

🍀How did Scrooge win the football game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.

🍀Why does Santa Claus live at the North Pole? Because that is where his house is!

🍀What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle!

🍀What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stocking!

🍀What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!

🍀Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!

🍀Who is Santa’s favorite pop group? Sister Sledge!

🍀Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? Because the presents won’t take themselves!

🍀Who gives presents and bites people? Santa Jaws!

🍀What do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws!

🍀What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas Eve!

🍀Where did Santa first meet and dance with his wife? At the annual snowball!

🍀What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk? Santa Claus laughing his head off!

🍀Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? Because he had no body to go with!

🍀What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pine-apple!

🍀Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.

🍀How do you know when Santa Claus is ill? The doctors send out an elf warning!

🍀Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

🍀What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho!

🍀What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santapplause!

🍀Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.

🍀What is Santa’s favorite sport? The North Pole vault!

🍀Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprintsWhat is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

🍀What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas? He got 12 months!

🍀Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!

Christmas knock knock jokes

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who? Mary Christmas and Abby year.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Elves. Elves who? Elves that need directions to the North Pole!

🎇Knock knock. Who’s there? Kanya Kanya who? Kanya help me find a Christmas tree.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peppermint. Peppermint who? Peppermint sticks for old Santa Nick.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Heart. Heart Who? I’m having a heart time choosing presents!

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gabe. Gabe who? Last Christmas I Gabe you my heart.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ape. Ape who? I’ve apresent for you.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Heaven. Heaven who? Heaven seen you since the Christmas party last year.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Rain. Rain who? Rudolph the red nose raindeer.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary and Abbey. Mary and Abbey who? Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Art. Art Who? Art you ready for Christmas?

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Tank. Tank who? Santa says Tank you for the cookies and milk!

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ginger. Ginger who? It’s me! The Gingerbread Man!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben Who? Ben waiting for Christmas all year!

🎇Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a very Merry Christmas!

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly up, we’re opening the gifts.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Squeamish. Squeamish who? Squeamish you a Merry Christmas.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Santa, Santa who? Santa Claus, of course!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Isabell. Isabell who? Is a jingle bell ringing?

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut open up any presents before Christmas day.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pika. Pika who? Pika day for us to exchange Christmas presents.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yah. Yah who? Wow, you’re really excited about Christmas you!

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Reindeer. Reindeer who? It looks like rain, deer!

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elfant likes peanuts for Christmas.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ant. Ant who? The Antarctic is waiting near the pole.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Decora. Decora who? Decorating the Christmas tree.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tree. Tree who? Tree wise men.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys not me who got coal this Christmas!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the perfect place to hang the Christmas wreath.

🎇Knock! knock! Who’s there? Juicy. Juicy who? Juicy see what I see! A sled on the roof.

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Cole. Cole who? Cole isn’t what i need in my stocking this year.

🎇Knock! knock! Who’s there? Rudolph. Rudolph who? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Duh!

🎇Knock! knock! Who’s there? Norway. Norway who? There is Norway for kissing under the mistletoe!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Wanda. Wanda who? I Wanda what decorations to put up this year for Christmas!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place where I can put the Christmas trees?

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who? Ima dreaming of a white Christmas.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas. Of course!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Kenya. Kenya who? Kenya give my address of Santa Claus?

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? That’s. That’s who? That’s a lot of gifts!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Forzee. Forzee who? Forzee thousandth time, don’t play with those French Christmas decorations.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Ice. Ice who? Ice some yummy Christmas cookies.

🎇Knock Knock! Who’s there? Tank! Tank who? Tank you for my Christmas present!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Murray. Murray who? Murray Christmas, one and all!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harold. Harold who? Hark the Harold Angels Sing!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey knows how long is it until Santa gets here?

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any Christmas cookies left?

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho-ho. Ho-ho who? You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hanna. Hanna who? Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow-time to waste. It’s Christmas!

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sea. Sea Who? Sea, it’s Santa!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alma. Alma Who? Alma Christmas cookies are gone.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Yule. Yule who? Yule be sorry if you miss my amazing Christmas cake this year.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Alex. Alex who? Alex Santa if he would like to come to our Christmas party this year.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gopher. Gopher Who? I could Gopher a cup of hot chocolate right about now.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood Who? I Sherwood like to get lots of presents this year.

🎇Fozzie. Fozzie who? Fozzie hundredth time, will you keep away from the tree.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana go see Santa.

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Angel. Angel who? Angel on high of my Christmas tree.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bella. Bella who? Jingle Bella, jingle Bella, Oh.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hope. Hope who? I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iona. Iona who? Iona special Christmas ornament.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who? Ima excited for Christmas!

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? How. How who? How does Santa know my name?

🎇Knock! knock! Who’s there? — Pizza — Pizza who? — Pizza on earth and goodwill towards men!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? I wanda know what you’re doing for Christmas.

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce enjoys some hot cocoa and yuletide cookies.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dad. Dad who? Feliz navidad!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Snow. Snow who? It’s snow use. I can’t bake this cake or the cookies!

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pudding. Pudding who? Pudding presents in my Christmas stocking.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? How. Alice. Alice who? Alice in the winter wonderland.

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Candy cane. Candy cane who? Better put that candy cane on the Christmas tree or I’ll eat it.

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska Santa for a new bike this year.

🎇Knock Knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!

🎇Knock! Knock! Who is there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little more time to decorate the house for Christmas.

🎇Knock Knock. Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you.

🎇Knock, knock! Who’s there? Freddy. Freddy who? Freddy to open your presents?

🎇Knock, knock. Who’s there? Santa. Santa Who? Why are you at the door? We have a chimney!

Short christmas jokes

After the year that we have just spent, indulging in a few giggles can only do us good. Indeed, humor is an essential quality that often allows us to take a step back from the worst situations! So to brighten up these very special end-of-year celebrations, we don’t hesitate any longer, we let go (a little) and we draw our best jokes to make the whole family laugh. Read down below and choose the best short christmas jokes to share with family and friends.

🎆Who leads Santa’s sleigh underwater? — Ru-Dolphin!

🎆Why did Santa go to the doctor? Because of his bad “elf”!

🎆What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? — Candy canes.

🎆What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!

🎆Where do snowmen keep their money? — In a snow bank.

🎆Why does Santa have 3 gardens? — So he can hoe-hoe-hoe.

🎆Why were the reindeer still in the barn when they were supposed to be with Santa? — They were stalling.

🎆What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? — Jungle Bells.

🎆Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!

🎆Why do Mummies like Christmas so much? — Because of all the wrapping.

🎆Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? — Because he was feeling crummy.

🎆What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich? — Peanut butter and jolly.

🎆What does one snowman say to the other? — Do you smell carrots?

🎆What is Santa’s dogs name? Santa Paws!

🎆What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.

🎆What do you call Santa when he stops moving? — Santa Pause.

🎆What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.

🎆What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when she sees clouds? — Looks like rain, dear.

🎆Why do reindeer like Beyonce so much? She sleighs.

🎆Make an advent calendar with jokes.

🎆Decide which joke is the best and use it all month!

🎆Why do basketball players love gingerbread cookies? — Because they can dunk them!

🎆Write the joke on a whiteboard in the morning. See who can get the answer first.

🎆How do you get into Donner’s house? You ring the “deer”bell.

🎆At a Christmas party, give each guest a joke to share throughout the party.

🎆What game do reindeer play at sleepovers? — Truth-or-deer.

🎆Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

🎆What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

🎆Why was the Gingerbread Man robbed? — Because of his dough.

🎆Add a cute joke to your Christmas cracker.

🎆Add a joke to each link in a countdown to Christmas chain.

🎆What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? — A cookie sheet.

🎆What kind of bug hates Christmas? — A humbug.

🎆What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

🎆What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.

🎆Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

🎆What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

🎆What do you call a snowman party? — A Snowball.

🎆Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin? — Cinder-“elf”-a.

🎆What’s red and white, red and white, red and white? — Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

🎆Who won he race between Rudolph and Prancer? — Rudolph won by a nose!

🎆This year even the toys are stressed out! — Yeah, they came already wound up.

🎆What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!

🎆Have the Elf on the Shelf bring a new joke every day.

🎆What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? — “Aren’t you tired of just hanging around?

🎆What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? — Horn-aments.

🎆What goes “oh, oh, oh”? — Santa walking backwards.

🎆Where would you find chili beans? — At the North Pole.

🎆Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

🎆What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? — A snowball.

🎆Why is it so cold at Christmas? — Because it’s Decembrrrrr.

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