The night of October 31st must certainly be experienced in the name of terror and fun and, in particular for children, we want to provide you here a series of ideas for cute Halloween jokes to be implemented in complete safety. The password is obviously to give free rein to the imagination and, through the suggestions for all occasions that you find listed below, it is possible to implement funny jokes that will have friends, neighbors and relatives as “victims”, also do not forget to create magical atmospheres with unmissable Halloween stories.
” Trick or treat ?”, Trick or treat? Where does this custom of giving treats or playing tricks come from? It is a Celtic tradition: since on Halloween it was thought that the dead would come back to life to greet their loved ones, there was the custom of putting a tray in front of the door with sweets for the dead arriving. Over the centuries, the tradition has transformed, including the possibility of playing tricks. Continue to read down below and you’ll find the best Halloween jokes for kids and adults and have fun on Halloween day.
Halloween jokes
Let’s start as we should from the real tradition of the Halloween party, that is with the classic “trick or treat?” much loved by children. Unmissable for the night of October 31st is the door to door that will bring you to the neighbors and, in the event that the latter prefer to be “victims” of a joke rather than giving sweets, you must not be caught unprepared. Always keeping in mind that it is good not to overdo it, here are some ideas for cute and funny halloween jokes.
🎃How do pumpkins get paid? With pumpkin bread.
🎃How do pumpkins mend a tear? With a pumpkin patch.
🎃Why didn’t Cinderella make the soccer team? Her coach was a pumpkin.
🎃Where do ghosts shop? Boo-tiques.
🎃Why do pumpkins bar hop? To get smashed.
🎃What do you call a skeleton that won’t do any work? Lazy bones.
🎃How do ghosts predict the future? They check their horror-scope.
🎃Why did the pumpkin go to jail? It had a bad seed.
🎃Why did the ghost ride the elevator? To lift its spirit.
🎃Why don’t vampires get invited to parties? They’re a pain in the neck.
🎃Who rules the pumpkin patch? The pump-king.
🎃Where do zombies live? On a dead end.
🎃Why did the skeleton laugh? Something tickled its funny bone.
🎃What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.
🎃How do vampires flirt? They bat their eyes.
🎃What’s a ghost’s favorite dinner? Spook-etti.
🎃How do pumpkins quit smoking? They use a pumpkin patch.
🎃What do ghosts wear if they can’t see? Spooktacles.
🎃What do ghosts use to style their hair? Scare-spray.
🎃Where should you hide if you’re being chased by zombies? The living room.
🎃Why don’t ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
🎃What’s a pumpkin’s favorite fruit? Orange.
🎃What kind of canine do pumpkins prefer? Gourd-dogs.
🎃What kind of cars do zombies drive? Monster trucks.
🎃What do skeleton dogs eat? Milk bones.
🎃Did you hear about the zombie the lost the race? It came in dead last.
🎃When do cows turn into werewolves? During the full moooooon.
🎃Why’d the skeleton go the grocery store? Its pantry was down to the bare bones.
🎃Why do witches wear name tags? To tell which witch is which.
🎃Did you hear about the zombie recital? The performance knocked ‘em dead.
🎃Did you hear about the angry zombie? It got bent out of shape.
🎃What shouldn’t you serve a vampire for dinner? Steak.
🎃Did you hear about the zombie that took a nap? It was dead tired.
🎃How do ghosts unlock doors? With spoo-keys.
🎃Did you hear about the vampire romance? It was love at first bite.
🎃Did you hear about the crazy vampire? He was totally batty.
🎃Why don’t skeletons like the cold? It’s bone-chilling.
🎃Why did everyone leave the zombie party? It wasn’t very lively.
🎃Why did the zombie get fired? It missed its dead-line.
🎃Where do zombies swim? In the Dead Sea.
🎃What should you do if there’s a zombie attack? Play dead.
🎃Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.
🎃Why did the vampire go to the doctor? It was coffin.
🎃Why did the ghost go to a bar? It was looking for boo’s.
🎃What kind of shoes do ghosts wear? Boo-ts.
🎃Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.
🎃Why don’t skeletons skydive? They don’t have the stomach for it.
🎃What do you call identical zombie twins? Dead ringers.
🎃Did you hear about the zombie valedictorian? It was dead-icated to its studies.
🎃Why did the vampire go to the dentist? It had bat breath.
🎃Why did the skeleton put on a sweater? It was chilled to the bone.
🎃What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
🎃Why did the vampire get glasses? It was as blind as a bat.
🎃What do you call vampire siblings? Blood brothers.
🎃Why don’t ghosts do standup comedy? They always get booed.
🎃Why did the zombie lose the argument? It didn’t have a leg to stand on.
🎃Did you hear about the zombie who bought a new car? It cost an arm and a leg.
🎃What do zombies order at the deli? Knuckle sandwich.
🎃How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.
🎃What’s a zombie’s pick-up line? You’re drop-dead gorgeous.
🎃How do skeletons start their cars? With skeleton keys.
🎃Did you hear about the new vampire laptop? It bytes.
🎃Where do vampires deposit their paychecks? At the blood bank.
🎃Why do skeletons argue? They always have a bone to pick.
🎃What kind of muffins do ghosts prefer? Boo-berry.
🎃What kind of music do zombies listen to? The Grateful Dead.
🎃What happens when vampires get mad? It makes their blood boil.
🎃What kind of pumpkins work at a pool? Life-gourds.
🎃Why do vampires avoid the cold? They don’t want to get frostbite.
🎃What did the ghost say when it fell down? I got a boo-boo.
🎃How do ghosts apply for jobs? They fill out apparitions.
🎃Did you hear about the ghost party? It was loud enough to wake the dead.
🎃What did the skeleton bring to the cookout? Spare ribs.
🎃What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
🎃Why did the skeleton skip the prom? It had no body to go with.
🎃Why did the zombie take a nap? It was dead on its feet.
🎃Why did the Headless Horseman go to school? He wanted to get a-head in life.
🎃Why don’t ghosts shower? It dampens their spirits.
🎃Did you hear about the vampire feud? There was bad blood.
🎃How do little pumpkins cross the road? With the help of a crossing gourd.
🎃Who won the vampire race? No one — it was neck and neck.
🎃Where do ghosts buy stamps? At the ghost office.
Halloween jokes for kids
We have candles, pumpkins, costumes, sweets, games, stories … What are we missing? We have prepared a list of halloween jokes for kids, as well as some jokes about vampires and monsters and a macabre and educational activity at the same time: learning the names of the bones! Read down below and choose the best halloween joke to make kids laugh.
🎊What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
🎊Where does the witch’s frog sit? On a toadstool.
🎊Why do ghosts hate rain? It dampens their spirits.
🎊What do ghosts turn on in summer? The scare-conditioner!
🎊What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
🎊Why don’t werewolves ever know the time? Because they’re not whenwolves.
🎊Which boats do vampires travel in? Blood vessels.
🎊What do spooks with poor eyesight wear? Spook-tacles!
🎊How do ghosts go from floor to floor? By scare-case!
🎊Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts.
🎊What do witches eat for lunch? Sand-witches.
🎊Why did the zombie decide to stay in his coffin? He felt rotten.
🎊What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
🎊What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It’s good for business.
🎊How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck!
🎊What are two witches living together called? Broommates.
🎊How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!
🎊What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
🎊Why are mummies good employees? They get wrapped up in their work.
🎊I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
🎊Why do skeletons hate parties? They have no-body to dance with.
🎊On which day are ghosts most scary? Fright-day!
🎊Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs!
🎊Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
🎊How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
🎊What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
🎊What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom mates!
🎊What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
🎊Why don’t people like Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
🎊What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
🎊Why did the skeleton run away? Because a dog was after his bones.
🎊How does a scarecrow drink his juice? With a straw!
🎊What do Italian ghosts have for dinner? Boo-ghetti!
🎊What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
🎊Which monster loves to dance? The Boogieman!
🎊What do ghosts eat for dessert? Ice scream.
🎊What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument? A trombone.
🎊What makes trick-or-treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
🎊Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
🎊Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
🎊What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.
🎊What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
🎊Where does Dracula keep his money? At the blood bank.
🎊What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
🎊Why did the ghost go to the sales? Because they were bargain haunters!
🎊Why can’t ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
🎊What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling.
🎊Did you hear about the untidy cemetery? You wouldn’t want to be caught dead in there!
🎊How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
🎊Why didn’t the skeleton jump off the roof? He didn’t have the guts.
🎊What day do ghosts do their howling? On Moan-day!
🎊What do witches put in their hair? Scare spray!
🎊Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
🎊What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
🎊How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
🎊What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone appetit!
🎊Why did the skeleton climb a tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
🎊What do you get when you cross the Abominable Snowman and pasta? Spag-yeti!
🎊What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
🎊What is a vampire’s favourite fruit? Necktarines!
🎊What is a spook’s favourite ride? A roller-ghoster!
🎊What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A sand witch!
🎊What noise does a witch’s breakfast cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop!
🎊What do you call a hairy monster in a river? A weir-wolf!
🎊What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarine.
🎊What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
🎊How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
🎊Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house? He was homesick.
🎊What do witches race on? Vroomsticks!
🎊What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
🎊Why did the vampire read the newspaper? Because it had great circulation.
Halloween jokes for adults
🎊How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
🎊Why are spirits so lonely? They have no body to love.
🎊What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
🎊Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get a-head in life.
🎊Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
🎊How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle their funny bones.
🎊What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
🎊What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Brain food.
🎊What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a total pain in the neck.
🎊Why do vampires like reading Best Life? We have great circulation.
🎊What did the skeleton bring to the potluck? Spare ribs.
🎊Where do skeletons love binge-watching their favorite shows? On the skele-vision.
🎊What do little ghouls and boys study in algebra? Pumpkin pi.
🎊What do you eat at a baseball game on Halloween? A frankenfurter.
🎊What did the zombies say to these jokes? “These are so good, they’re killing me.
🎊Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
🎊How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? By flipping the lights-witch.
🎊I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
🎊Why was all of the food gone at the end of the Halloween party? Everyone was a goblin.
🎊What can you expect to find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch.
🎊What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
🎊What do witches request at a hotel? Broom service.
🎊Who is the world’s best skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
🎊Why are vampires too easy to fool? Because they’re suckers.
🎊What do vampires use to get around? A blood vessel.
🎊Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face.
🎊How are witches able to stay so positive? Witch-ful thinking.
🎊What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO.
🎊Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
🎊What did the happy pumpkin say? “Life is gourd.
🎊What did the vampire say to his spouse? “It was love at first bite.
🎊What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving.
🎊Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No-body.
🎊What do witches put on to go trick-or-treating? Mas-scare-a.
🎊What’s a teenage ghost’s favorite song? “Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun.
🎊What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.
🎊What do you call a skeleton that refuses to clean up after themself? Lazy bones.
🎊Why is Baba Yaga always late? She lost her witch-watch.
🎊Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
🎊What’s another word for a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
🎊Why do cemeteries contain the best stories? Because they have so many plots.
🎊Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
🎊How do you unlock a door on Halloween? With a spoo-key.
🎊How did the werewolf greet his friend? “Howl you doing?
🎊Why did the scarecrow stand-up comedian fail? Because all his jokes were corny.
🎊How can you tell when a vampire has stopped by a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
🎊What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
🎊What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
🎊How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
🎊Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
🎊Why don’t skeletons like Halloween candy? They don’t have the stomach for it.
🎊What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton? “Bone-Appetit.
🎊What is a zombie’s favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
🎊Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? He was stuffed already.
🎊Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
🎊What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
🎊What do skeletons learn about in history class? Napoleon Bone-a-Parte.
🎊What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
🎊How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Simple, use a skeleton key to unlock the gates.
🎊What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
🎊Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
🎊Why shouldn’t an angry witch go trick or treating on her broom? She might fly off the handle.
🎊Why didn’t the skeleton go see the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
🎊What is a goblin’s favorite type of cheese? Monster-ella.
🎊Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
🎊Who was the best dancer at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
🎊What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween? The Grim Sleeper.
🎊How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web.
🎊What do you call a moon out of orbit? A lunatic.
🎊What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
🎊Why are all mummies workaholics? They’re afraid to unwind.
Halloween dad jokes
Halloween night is approaching, the scariest of the year: a party loved above all by children who love to dress up and play at the doors of relatives and friends in search of various candies and sweets to the cry of “trick or treat”. A custom of Anglo-Saxon origin Halloween, which occurs on October 31st, whose main symbol is the carved pumpkin, also used for the preparation of many delicious recipes dedicated to this day. On this day if you are a dad and want to make your kids laugh, read down below and choose from the list of Halloween dad jokes the best jokes for your kids.
🔔What do ghosts like to eat? Spookghetti.
🔔Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
🔔What did Dracula call his interior design book? Fang-shui.
🔔Why do ghosts go to the pub? For boos.
🔔I kissed a vampire last Halloween. Do you know what it felt like? A pain in the neck.
🔔What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
🔔What is a witch’s favourite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
🔔What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-boo.
🔔What is a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.
🔔Which position do ghosts play in football? Ghoul-keeper.
🔔What instrument do skeletons play in the band? A sax-a-bone.
🔔What noises do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, cackle and pop.
🔔Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
🔔What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
🔔What do female ghosts sing on Halloween? Ghouls just want to have fun!
🔔What do witches ask for at a hotel? Broom service.
🔔Why didn’t the skeleton artist want to show his skull-ptures? Because his heart wasn’t in it.
🔔What do you call a dumb skeleton? Bonehead.
🔔What is a skeleton’s favourite drink? A full-bodied wine.
🔔What do you call a cleaning skeleton? A grim sweeper.
🔔Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
🔔Where do mummy and daddy ghosts take their babies during the day? Day scare.
🔔Where do ghosts buy their food? The ghostery store.
🔔Why do vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
🔔How do you fix a broken Jack O’Lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
🔔Why did the ghost take his new girlfriend to his hometown? He wanted his boo to see his old haunts.
🔔What do ghosts wear to see better? Spooktacles.
🔔How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
🔔Where does Dracula keep his money? A blood bank.
🔔Why do ghosts go to theme parks? They love roller-ghost-ers.
🔔What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
🔔What do witches call their garage? A broom closet.
🔔Why is it so hard trick or treating with twins? You never know which is witch.
🔔Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
🔔What’s a vampire’s least favourite meal? Steak.
🔔What do you call two witches who live together? Broom mates.
🔔What do witches use to make their hair look perfect? Scare spray.
🔔Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
🔔What is a ghost’s favourite dessert? Eye-scream.
🔔What do ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream.
🔔Why do ghosts hate rain on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
🔔What do you call a vampire in trouble? A grave problem.
🔔Why can’t the man ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie (Maybe leave this one until the kids aren’t around!).
🔔Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
🔔Why do people think the Jack o’Lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him? Everyone could see he held a candle for her.
🔔What did the vampire say when she saw her reflection? Time to get a new mirror.
🔔Where do college vampires like to shop? Forever 21.
🔔Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She’s got Bad Blood.
🔔What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
🔔How do skeletons know what is about to happen? They can feel it in their bones.
🔔Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They don’t have the guts.
🔔How do vampires start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
🔔What is a ghost’s favourite yoghurt flavour? Boooooooberry.
🔔How do ghosts search the web? They use ghoul-gle.
🔔How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck.
🔔Why were Dracula’s pancakes so terrible? He got turned into bat-ter.
🔔What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
🔔Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? They’ve got loads of spirit.
🔔How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
🔔Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
🔔What do ghosts love to drink? Ghoul Aid.
🔔If skeletons could be any ruler from history, who would they be? Napoleon Bone-a-Part.
🔔Why did the skeleton climb the tree? A dog was chasing him.
🔔What is a vampire’s favourite fruit? Neck-tarine.
Funny halloween jokes
🔅Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
🔅Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
🔅The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
🔅Why did the witches cancel their baseball game? — They couldn’t find their bats.
🔅Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? — He was already stuffed.
🔅The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.
🔅What do birds say on Halloween? — Twick o Tweet.
🔅How do you make a witch itch? — Take away the W.
🔅How do ghosts search the Web? They use ghoul-gle.
🔅How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
🔅What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
🔅What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
🔅What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
🔅What does a cool witch ride instead of a motorcycle? — A Brrrrrr – oomstick.
🔅What candy do you eat on the playground? — Recess pieces.
🔅Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
🔅Why do people like vampires so much? — Because they are FANGtastic.
🔅What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
🔅What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
🔅How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
🔅What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn? — That costume is a-MAZE-ing.
🔅What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
🔅What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
🔅Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
🔅What is a scarecrows favorite fruit? — STRAW-berries.
🔅How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!
🔅What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? — A blood orange.
🔅Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? — It had no guts.
🔅What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
🔅What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.
🔅What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? — Spelling.
🔅Why do witches wear name tags? — So they will know which witch is which.
🔅Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
🔅Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
🔅Where do vampires eat their lunch? — At the casketeria.
Dirty halloween jokes
Every year, Halloween is celebrated on October 31 all over the world. The Halloween party has great significance. Speaking of its motive, the festival is celebrated for the peace of ancestors’ souls. This is a kind of grief festival, but people celebrate this day with a lot of cheer. Although people wear new clothes at festivals, on Halloween people wear such clothes and makeup in order to look scary. Halloween is also known as Hallows Eve, All Saints Eve, All Hallow Evening, All Halloween. If you want to make your friends laugh use these dirty halloween jokes for adults and have fun on Halloween with your best friends.
🌞What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-Scream!
🌞Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
🌞What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don’t know, but it’s not working.
🌞Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
🌞Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
🌞Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.
🌞What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
🌞What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
🌞What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
🌞What do witches get when their shoes are too tight? Candy corns.
🌞What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, the Bad, and the Ugly.
🌞What do you call a witch with a rash? An itchy-witchy.
🌞Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
🌞What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing? Get a broom!
🌞What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
🌞What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese? Zom-brie.
🌞What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? Hollow-een.
🌞What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
🌞Who helped the little pumpkin cross the road? The crossing gourd.
🌞Why do vampires not want to become investment bankers? They hate stakeholders.
🌞What’s a zombie’s favorite treat? You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.
🌞Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
🌞How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
🌞What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
🌞Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
🌞What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
🌞How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
🌞What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
🌞How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
🌞What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
🌞What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
🌞What is a zombie sleepover called? Mass grave.
🌞What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
🌞How do you know you’ve been ghosted? The poltergeist doesn’t text you back.
🌞What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
🌞How do gourds grow big and strong? Pumpkin iron.
🌞Why did the pumpkin take a detour? To avoid a seedy part of town.
🌞How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
🌞What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.
🌞Why aren’t zombies ever arrested? They can’t be captured alive.
🌞What kind of horse do ghosts ride? A night-mare.
🌞What sea do zombies swim in? The dead sea.
🌞Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
🌞What’s a ghost’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
🌞Why did the zombie become a mortician? To put food on the table.
🌞What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
🌞What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
🌞Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
🌞What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
🌞Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
🌞How do you know if a zombie likes someone? They ask for seconds.
🌞What room does a ghost not need in a house? A living room.
🌞How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
🌞Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
🌞Why was the gourd so gossipy? To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
🌞What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
🌞Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
🌞What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaains!
🌞What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
🌞What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
🌞Why was the jack-o’-lantern scared? Because it had no guts.
🌞Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
🌞What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
🌞How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.
🌞How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
🌞Where does a pumpkin preach? From the pulp-it.
🌞What do you call zombies in pajamas? The sleepwalking dead.
🌞How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
🌞Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.
🌞Why did he jack-o-lantern fail out of school? Someone scooped his brains out.Why don’t zombies like pirates? They’re too salty.
🌞Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
🌞What’s a zombie’s favorite weather? Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
🌞Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
🌞Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
🌞Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
🌞Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
🌞What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
🌞What brand of shampoo do zombies use? Head and Shoulders.
🌞What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.
🌞What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
🌞Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
🌞What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
Halloween knock knock jokes
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anakin. Anakin who? Anakin I get some candy, please?
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce try again next Halloween!
💧Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick?
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tyson. Tyson who? Tyson garlic around your neck to ward off vampires!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vampire! Vampire who? Vampire state building!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut worry it is just a Halloween joke!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who. Gladys Halloween.
💧Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry monster coming to get you.
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this dead body?
💧Who’s there? Howl! Howl who? Howl you be dressing up this Halloween?
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! I’m just a Halloween trick or treater!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting to kiss a witch all year!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
💧Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
Top 10 halloween jokes
🔹What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
🔹Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
🔹What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
🔹What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
🔹What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
🔹Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
🔹Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
🔹How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
🔹Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
🔹Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.