Laughter is the best remedy to lift the spirits and cure many ailments; That’s why for many years, young and old, have fallen at the foot of the jokes, those perfect stories to enliven an evening and make others laugh. If you are bored and want to have fun or want to make your friends and / or family laugh, this article is perfect for you.
Discover corny jokes for kids, funny jokes for adults and other short corny jokes for nonstop laughter… have fun! Continue to read and choose the best corny jokes for adults or kids. These corny jokes are the best for every situation and to make everyone laugh.
If you want funnier jokes, then we offer you new options. In this selection of corny jokes you will find from the most absurd to some more elaborate for those with a different mood. Use these corny jokes to amuse your friends and family.
😂What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
😂I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
😂Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.
😂One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. It was an udder failure.
😂What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
😂What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.
😂A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie was everywhere.
😂If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
😂Knock knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke get any worse?
😂Why was the broom late to class? It over-swept.
😂A termite walks into the bar and asks, ”Is the bar tender here?
😂What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
😂The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.
😂I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
😂What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
😂Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
😂I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
😂What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
😂Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? He’s a fungi.
😂What do horses say when they fall? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
😂What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
😂How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
😂Why did the restaurant hire a pig? He was good at bacon.
😂Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
😂What job did the frog have at the hotel? Bellhop.
😂Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
😂Why couldn’t the pony talk? Because she was just a little hoarse.
😂Knock knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore is between us, so please open up.
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? I think it’s pronounced Idaho.
😂Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
😂Why do pancakes always win at baseball? They have the best batter.
😂What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
😂What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
😂What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
😂What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
😂What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
😂How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
😂I’m on a seafood diet: When I see food, I eat it.
😂How do you organize a space party? You planet.
😂What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.
😂Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
😂Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.
😂What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe.
😂Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.
😂Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.
😂Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
😂What runs but never goes anywhere? A refrigerator.
😂6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
😂What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
😂Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.
😂I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
😂What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
😂Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks.
😂I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
😂Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
😂What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
😂What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
😂I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex. He’s a small arms dealer.
😂What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
😂Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
😂The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
😂What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cher. Cher who? Cher would be nice if you opened the door.
😂Why don’t lobsters like to share? They’re shellfish.
😂What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
😂How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
😂What do you call a ghost’s sweetheart? A ghoul-friend.
😂How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
😂I always wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
😂What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers.
😂How do you make a water bed bouncier? Add spring water.
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? I’ve a sore hand from knocking.
😂What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
😂Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
😂How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
😂Never buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
😂If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?
😂Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wa. Wa who? What are you so excited about?
😂Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
😂What did the snail riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeeee!
😂Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.
😂If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
😂What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
😂What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
😂Irish puns are the most O’ffensive.
😂Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
😂What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
😂Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
😂What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
😂Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
😂A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?
😂Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered.
😂I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
😂Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, I’m only joking!
Corny dad jokes
Humor! It’s something that has levels but that only arises when one of the jokes you sent from your father can’t even open his toothy teeth, while the other one, your father, took hours to forget it. Whenever he thinks about it, your dad couldn’t stop his ridiculous laugh. But how would you identify yourself before sending it, that this will be the successful one! Read down below these corny dad jokes and use it to make everyone laugh around you.
😄Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
😄What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows.
😄Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get crowns.
😄Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
😄Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
😄What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
😄What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
😄What do dogs and phones have in common? Both have collar ID.
😄Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
😄Why do bananas wear sunscreen? Because they peel.
😄What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
😄Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
😄What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
😄Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
😄What do you give a scientist with bad breath? Experi-mints.
😄What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
😄Where do books hide when they’re afraid? Under their covers.
😄What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.
😄Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it’s pointless.
😄What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty.
😄What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity? Nothing. He was too shocked.
😄Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
😄How do you organize a space party? You planet.
😄What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.
😄What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.
😄What do you call recently-married spiders? Newly-webs.
😄What’s more unbelievable than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
😄What did one piece of tape say to the other? Let’s stick together.
😄What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
😄What does a painter do when he gets cold? Puts on another coat.
😄How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
😄Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
😄What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
😄Why do dragons sleep during the day? Because they like to fight knights.
😄Can February March? No, but April May!
😄Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady.
😄Not sure if you have noticed, but I love bad puns. That’s just how eye roll.
😄Did the hear about the ice cream truck accident? It crashed on a rocky road.
😄How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
😄Why was the football stadium cold? There were too many fans.
😄Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
😄Why did the computer get glasses? To improve its website.
😄Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
😄What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
😄Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
😄What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
😄How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket.
😄Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado.
😄Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
😄What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater.
😄What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
😄Why did the baseball player get arrested? He stole third base.
😄How much money does a skunk have? Just one scent.
😄Where do burgers go dancing? At the meatball.
😄How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
😄What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.
😄What do cows like to read? Cattle-logs.
😄Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
😄Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.
😄Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party? It was nuts.
😄What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish? Swimming trunks.
😄What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.
😄Where did the cat go after losing its tail? The retail store.
😄What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold.
😄What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill? A lambslide.
😄Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs.
😄What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
😄What kind of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad.
😄What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
😄How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
😄What did the calculator say to the pencil? You can count on me.
😄Why did the nose feel sad? It was always getting picked on.
😄Where do boats go when they’re sick? To the dock.
😄What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
😄What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy!
😄What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
😄How can you tell the difference between a dog and tree? By their bark.
😄Why did the deer go to the dentist? It had buck teeth.
😄Did you hear about the cold dinner? It was chili.
😄What kind of cereal do leprechauns eat? Lucky Charms.
😄What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
😄What invention allows us to see through walls? Windows.
😄Why did the picture go to jail? He was framed.
😄What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
😄How did the farmer fix his torn overalls? With a cabbage patch.
😄Why did the girl toss a clock out the window? She wanted to see time fly.
😄Why did the duck fall on the sidewalk? He tripped on a quack.
😄What happens when doctors get frustrated? They lose their patients.
😄How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
😄What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music.
😄What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bed time.
😄Did you hear about the man who cut off his left leg? He’s all right now.
😄Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
😄Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead dough.
😄Why did the ram run over the cliff? He didn’t see the ewe turn.
😄What did the blanket say to the bed? I’ve got you covered.
😄Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
😄What is a calendar’s favorite food? Dates.
😄Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field.
😄Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
😄Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own set of scales.
😄Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
😄How do birds learn to fly? They wing it.
😄Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
😄How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together.
😄What do you call a medieval lamp? A knight light.
😄What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
😄What did the roof say to the shingle? The first one’s on the house.
😄How does the rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
😄What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe.
😄Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
😄What type of music do the planets enjoy? Neptunes.
😄Did you hear about the 12-inch dog? It was a foot long.
😄How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
😄Where does a sheep go to get a haircut? The baa baa shop.
😄What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
😄A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
😄What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
😄Why can’t the sailor learn the alphabet? Because he kept getting lost at C.
😄Where do armies belong? In your sleeves.
😄Why can’t you trust a balloon? It’s full of hot air.
😄What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something.
😄Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
😄Why did the watch go on vacation? To unwind.
😄How do you stop a bull from charging? You cancel its credit card.
Corny jokes for adults
😀Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
😀I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
😀The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.
😀We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
😀If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
😀To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
😀To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
😀Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
😀Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
😀Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
😀The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
😀I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
😀The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
😀Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
😀I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
😀It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.
😀My resume is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
😀I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.
😀I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
😀The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
😀It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.
😀The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
😀With a calendar, your days are numbered.
😀If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
😀A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
😀I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
😀A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
😀Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
😀I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem. I just can’t see myself working today.
😀I like my job only marginally more than I like being homeless.
😀Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
😀I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
😀Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
😀I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
😀How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
😀If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
😀It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.
😀When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
😀My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.
😀A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
😀Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
😀To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
😀A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
😀If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
😀Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!
😀A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
😀A hard thing about a business is minding your own.
😀Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
😀Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.
😀If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
😀The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
😀Things really haven’t gotten worse. We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills.
😀I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
😀Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
😀Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
😀My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
😀I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
😀I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
😀When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
😀When it comes to work, change is inevitable, except from the vending machine.
😀Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
😀Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
😀I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
😀Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
😀Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things.
😀People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
😀Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
😀The boss frowns on anyone yelling: “Hey Weirdo!” He says too many people look up from their work.
😀Anything that could possibly go wrong often does – as well as a thing or two that couldn’t possibly.
😀He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
😀If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
😀A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
😀I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.
😀I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
😀You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
😀The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
😀If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
😀Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
😀My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
😀Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
😀The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
😀I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
😀Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
😀I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
😀Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
😀Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
😀If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.
😀There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
😀A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.
😀All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.
😀I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
😀Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
😀Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
😀There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
😀Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
😀When in doubt, mumble.
😀Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
😀The reason we “nod off to sleep” is so it looks like we’re just emphatically agreeing with everything when we’re in a boring meeting.
😀I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
😀My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
Corny funny jokes
Laughing is good for your health! So here is a collection of jokes. Leave aside serious speeches and too many recommendations: for once you have to allow yourself the luxury of having fun without too many thoughts. Use these corny funny jokes and share it on social media or with friends and family.
😅Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?” “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.
😅What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved.
😅I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
😅Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.
😅What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
😅How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.
😅What has more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!
😅How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
😅Where do boats go when they’re sick?” “To the boat doc.
😅I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.
😅I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
😅What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.
😅I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
😅Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
😅Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
😅Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.
😅You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.
😅Where do you learn to make a banana split?” “Sundae school.
😅Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.
😅Where do fruits go on vacation?” “Pear-is!
😅What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!
😅What’s the best thing about Switzerland?” “I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
😅I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.
😅Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!
😅When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?
😅Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They’re making headlines.
😅I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
😅What does a sprinter eat before a race?” “Nothing, they fast!
😅I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
😅My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
😅A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
😅Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
😅Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
😅I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
😅That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.
😅What did one hat say to the other?” “Stay here! I’m going on ahead.
😅How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
😅I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
😅I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
😅If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
😅Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
😅What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
😅What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn?
😅What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt looks good on you.
😅Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
😅I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.
😅What do you call a poor Santa Claus?” “St. Nickel-less.
😅Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
😅Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
😅Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.
😅I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…
😅A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender. I’ll have one beer and a mop.
😅What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.
😅A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.
😅I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
Corny jokes for kids
Entertaining children is far from being an easy task… During school holidays, Wednesdays or weekends, you have to list everything you can do so that your children don’t get bored. And this is especially true for days when the good weather is not there and outdoor games are not an option. Board games, family cooking, dance competitions, painting workshops, coloring session, watching a film… Once all these ideas have been exhausted, you are left with an infallible activity that made us happy a few years ago: the children’s joke contest! Continue to read and choose the best corny jokes for kids to make them laugh.
🤣What do you call a bear who lost all of his teeth? A gummy bear!
🤣Why did the banana have to go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling well!
🤣I’m so good at falling asleep… I can do it with my eyes shut.
🤣If you need to make music in your hair, I would call your headband.
🤣What would you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
🤣How did the hairdresser win the race? He knew a shortcut.
🤣What kind of room must you not go in to? A mushroom!
🤣I would play cards with a jungle cat but she’s too much of a cheetah.
🤣Cinderella isn’t very good at football because she keeps running from the ball.
🤣Which kind of music do the planets love? Nep-tunes.
🤣Why are elephants so wrinkly? Because they can’t be ironed!
🤣Which vegetable does a sailor hate? A leek.
🤣Why can’t Elsa hold a balloon? Because she will let it go.
🤣I gave the duck some fireworks… now she’s a firequacker.
🤣Why does a golfer always need two pairs of trousers? Because he got a hole in one.
🤣Which animal has 8 legs and can tell you the time? A clock-topus.
🤣What is the only way to get a mouse to smile? You have to say cheese!
🤣How can you fix a broken pumpkin? You use a pumpkin patch!
🤣What did the duck say when he ordered a drink? Put that on my bill!
🤣What do you get when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frost-bite.
🤣The sheep booked a holiday, obviously he was going to the Baaaaahamas!
🤣What is a planet’s favourite book? A comet book!
🤣What do cats always eat for breakfast? Mice crispies!
🤣How do bees get to work? On the buzz.
🤣Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrr!
🤣Why did the boy throw his clock out of the window? Because he wanted time to fly.
🤣Which stars have to wear sunglasses? Only the movie stars.
🤣Why did the orange juice do badly at school? Because he couldn’t concentrate.
🤣What is the only tree that can fit in your hand? A palm tree!
🤣Why did the picture get put in prison? He was framed!
🤣What do clouds wear underneath their clothes? Thunder-wear.
🤣The cow got dressed up for her favourite holiday, it was Moo Years Eve!
🤣My dog is a magician, he’s a labracabrador.
🤣I have a horse that lives next door, he is my neigh-bour.
🤣Which day of the week does every egg hate? Fry-day.
🤣Why does your teddy bear never want a snack? Because he is always stuffed!
🤣What do aliens like to roast on the fire? A martian-mallow.
🤣Which animal do you need to play cricket? A bat.
🤣What did the traffic light say to the car? Turn around, I am about to change!
🤣Why would the prawn not share his food? He was too shellfish!
🤣What are banana peel shoes called? Slippers!
🤣Pirates are only good singers because they can hit high C’s.
🤣What is the only key that can open a banana? A mon-key!
🤣What do astronauts eat their lunch on? Flying saucers.
🤣Did you hear the space jokes? They are out of this world!
🤣What did one toilet say to the other toilet? Are you okay? You look flushed!
🤣How can you stop a bull from charging? Take away its credit cards.
🤣What do fishermen eat for tea? Fish and ships!
🤣What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
🤣I met a pizza and when he left, he said, ‘It was slice to meet you’.
🤣How would a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator!
🤣You are going to go bananas for these crazy, corny crackers!
🤣What is an astronaut’s favourite chocolate bar? A Mars bar!
🤣Who is the King of the classroom? The ruler.
🤣How does a lion like his steak cooked? ROAR!
🤣What is a bear without any ears?…. A b!
🤣What would you call a snake wearing a helmet? A boa constructor.
🤣What did one volcano say to the other volcano? I lava you!
Best corny jokes
😁Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.
😁What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolksvagen.
😁Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines.
😁Knock, knock, Who’s there? Our new e-book! Our new e-book, who?
😁An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says… “What is this, some kind of joke?
😁Learn to spell… AutoCorrect isn’t always write.
😁What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What’s purple and fluffy? Pink fluff is holding its breath.
😁I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.
😁A politician, an artist, and a statistician are out hunting. The politician shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The artist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, “We got ‘em!”
😁Plagiarism: Getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.
😁Engineers have made a car that can run on mint. Hopefully, they can make buses and trains run on thyme.
😁It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.
😁Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
😁An Irishman walks out of a bar.
😁The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. He’s currently assembling his cabinet.
😁Bravely killed a bug at home. Then realized it was a piece of lint.
😁Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Would you like a beer?” Descartes replies, “I think not.” And promptly disappears.
😁A lawyer told a judge, “My client is trapped inside a penny.” The judge said, “What?” The lawyer said, “He’s in a cent.”
😁Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. -Groucho Marx.
😁Velcro is a complete ripoff.
😁Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way, and I should have left him in the garden.
😁Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier.
😁An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol place, drinking spot, place for beer, beer now.
😁I was going to tell a carpentry joke, but I couldn’t find any of that woodwork.
😁I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line.
😁Two men are on opposite sides of the river. The first man shouts, “How do I get to the other side of the river?” The other man yells, “You ARE on the other side of the river.”
😁I like what mechanics wear…overall.
😁The fact that Head & Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called ‘Knees & Toes’ disappoints me.
😁Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at.
😁The past, present, and future walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
😁What’s Forrest Gump’s password. 1Forrest1.
😁What’s the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas? Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chick Peas can hummus one.
😁Why does a bride always cry at the wedding? Because she never marries the best man.
😁Today I saved $236.17 by not going to Target for toothpaste.
😁There were two muffins in an oven, and one said, “It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?”. The other muffin gasps, “Ahh! A talking muffin!
😁There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
😁What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper.
😁Doctor: I’m sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Me Why?
😁I walked past a farm, and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought that was an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
😁Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office. I’m on season 6, but I’m not sure what it’s got to do with security.
😁70% of the earth is water, and virtually none of it is carbonated. So the earth is, in fact, flat.
😁One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will join together and be called: YouTwitFace.
😁There should be confetti in tires, so it’s still an okay day when there is a blow-out.
😁I once survived the fallout from moving an image 1 cm to the right in Word.
😁What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me!
😁Why is cold water so insecure? It’s never been called hot.
Corny Christmas jokes
Take a Christmas tree, add a few garlanded balls, a nativity scene and then a Santa Claus and sprinkle it all with a few snowflakes. You are there! Christmas, which celebrates the birth of baby Jesus, is certainly the most anticipated holiday on the calendar. Religious for some, commercial for others, Christmas remains an event associated with pleasure and conviviality. A perfect opportunity to share a few jokes, charades and other puns, to wait until the strongest moment of the end-of-year celebrations, the sacrosanct opening of gifts. Read down below and choose the best corny christmas jokes to share with loved ones or on social media.
🔔How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
🔔What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
🔔How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
🔔What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
🔔What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
🔔What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
🔔How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
🔔What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
🔔How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
🔔What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
🔔What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
🔔Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson.
🔔Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
🔔Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
🔔Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
🔔What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
🔔How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
🔔Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
🔔What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!
🔔What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there’s myrrh.
🔔What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.
🔔Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.
🔔What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
🔔What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
🔔What do grapes sing at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly.
🔔What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
🔔What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
🔔What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
🔔How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!
🔔Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
🔔What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
🔔What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
🔔What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
🔔How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
🔔Why do reindeer like Beyonce so much? She sleighs.
🔔What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
🔔Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
🔔What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
🔔What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
🔔What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
🔔What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
🔔What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
🔔Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
🔔What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
🔔What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
🔔What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
🔔What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
🔔Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
🔔What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
🔔What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
🔔What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
🔔What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
🔔What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
🔔What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
🔔What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
🔔What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
🔔Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
🔔What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
🔔What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
🔔Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
🔔What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.
🔔How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
🔔What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
🔔How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
🔔Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.