The typical protagonists of a joke can be a man, a woman, pierino, the teacher, children. There is really plenty of choice and since these jokes are usually very funny, happiness is guaranteed. And if jokes are your passion, put a good book full of jokes under the tree to give lots of smiles to those you love, is there perhaps something more beautiful? It is no coincidence that books with many jokes are among the best sellers every year!

Even the most famous historical characters and writers have indulged in funny jokes that have highlighted the more sympathetic and edgy side. Short phrases, sometimes even a little squalid, or very bad, but which always make you laugh heartily. Read down below and choose the best jokes to make your family and friends laugh.

Funny jokes

Certainly a dinner, a lunch with friends or a reunion with old school friends are the best occasions to give space to goliardic moments. In short, jokes are a long-standing playful pastime but always current and to be preferred over the smartphone, as it gives way to group and relate to people in reality. Use these funny jokes to amuse your family and friends and also share it on social media.

🔅What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.

🔅My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They’re his watch dogs.

🔅What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

🔅How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.

🔅Which planet loves to sing? Nep-tune!

🔅Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.

🔅What makes a sick lemon feel better? Lemon-aid!

🔅How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

🔅My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

🔅How does a barber drive to work? He takes shortcuts!

🔅What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.

🔅Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.

🔅No need to get so excited; it’s just a joke!

🔅Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide?

🔅I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

🔅What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

🔅What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.

🔅Why are elephants to wrinkly? Have you ever tried to iron one?

🔅What kind of pizza do dogs eat? Pup-eroni pizza!

🔅How do you help a baby astronaut fall asleep? You rock-et!

🔅A termite walks into a bar and says, “So, is the bar tender here?

🔅Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they always have bills!

🔅Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret? He’s afraid you’ll spread it!

🔅How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs!

🔅How does Spiderman do research? On the World Wide Web!

🔅What is a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!

🔅What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.

🔅Why did the peanut get into a rocket? He wanted to be an astro-nut!

🔅What kind of keys are sweet? Cookies!

🔅Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.

🔅What do you feed an alligator? Anything it wants!

🔅What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!

🔅What kind of math do birds love? Owl-gebra!

🔅What do you call a seagull that lives by the bay? A bagel!

🔅What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom!

🔅Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.

🔅What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese!

🔅What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

🔅What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!

🔅How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.

🔅Why did the teacher have birdseed? For her parrot-teacher conference!

🔅I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

🔅What fruit do twins love? Pears!

🔅Why was the broom late to school? It over-swept!

🔅Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

🔅I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

🔅What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.

🔅What kind of shoes do frogs love? Open-toad!

🔅What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas!

🔅Why are basketball courts always wet? Because the players dribble!

🔅What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shell-fies!

🔅Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

🔅Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.

🔅What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.

🔅What color do cats prefer? Purr-ple.

🔅If cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws!

🔅What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity!

🔅What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

🔅Why is a football stadium always cold? It has lots of fans!

🔅Who eats snails? People who don’t like fast food!

🔅What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

🔅Why did the banana visit the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well!

🔅Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

🔅What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels!

🔅Where do most horses live? In neigh-borhoods!

🔅Why did the computer get sick? It caught a virus!

Short jokes

There’s something for everyone: for those who love dark humour, for those who prefer absurd stories, for those who love challenges with succulent riddles. In short, you have a hundred jokes to tell without moderation to your wife or your husband, to your mother, your father or even your mother-in-law, to your children (well, not all of them, make a pre-selection), to your colleagues or even the guy you meet every morning at the coffee machine, your friends at the bar over a beer. Read down below where you’ll find short jokes for everyone.

🔔Can someone please shed more light on how my lamp got stolen?

🔔How does the ocean say hello? It waves

🔔What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1

🔔How did the bird break into the house? It came with a crow bar!

🔔Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?  Their bats flew away

🔔I have a fear of speed bumps But I am slowly getting over it

🔔Hummingbirds usually hum when speaking because they don’t know the words to use

🔔Where do hamburgers go dancing?  They go to the meat-ball

🔔How does Moses make tea? / He brews

🔔How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin

🔔Will the cat eat its meal without pulling a stunt? I am not a gymnast instructor, but I know the cartwheel

🔔What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill

🔔How does NASA organize a party? They planet

🔔Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? / He just needed a little space

🔔Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? / It’s two gross

🔔What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates

🔔What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away

🔔What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper!

🔔Two artists had an art contest It ended in a draw!

🔔If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes

🔔What do you call a pony with a cough? / A little horse

🔔Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal

🔔How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!

🔔Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food!

🔔How do you throw a space party? You planet!

🔔What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I’m changing!

🔔Why couldn’t the pony sing? Because she was a little hoarse

🔔What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river

🔔Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field

🔔Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils

🔔Why are ghosts good cheerleaders?  Because they have a lot of spirit!

🔔Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted

🔔Rest in peace boiling water You will be mist!

🔔Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in

🔔Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one

🔔What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy? A Mars bar

🔔What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes

🔔What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats

🔔How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? When it’s full

🔔What is sticky and brown? A stick!

🔔What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match

🔔You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow

🔔What do you call a gazelle in a lion’s territory? Denzel

🔔A plateau is the highest form of flattery

🔔I am tired of the constant ups and downs in my life, so I got to stop using the stairs

🔔Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie

🔔Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

🔔Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels

🔔What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee

🔔Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands

🔔Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school

🔔Why did Adele cross the road?  To sing, “Hello from the other side!

🔔What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence

🔔Which US state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”)

🔔What’s the most musical part of the chicken? The drumstick

🔔Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password It’s not stroganoff

🔔What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!

🔔I hate Russian dolls… they’re so full of themselves!

🔔What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!

🔔Ladies looking for the fruit of the womb, even after having a man, should let that mango!

🔔What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop

🔔What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!

🔔Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?  The baa-baa shop

🔔I invented a new word today: Plagiarism

🔔What did the left eye say to the right eye? / Between you and me, something smells

🔔Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” / Because every play has a cast

🔔Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs

🔔Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

🔔What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? / “Oh sheet!

🔔Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything

🔔Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!

🔔What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A pie-thon!

🔔What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-tastrophe

🔔You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at

🔔Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless

🔔Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat

🔔Where do cows go for entertainment? The mooooo-vies!

🔔Why did the tomato turn red?  It saw the salad dressing

🔔What do you call bears with no ears? B

🔔Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed!

🔔What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope

🔔Why is she called llene? She stands on equal legs

🔔Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon

Funny jokes to tell

🍀What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless!

🍀What do you get someone who already has everything? A burglar alarm!

🍀What is more impressive than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!

🍀What happened to the frog who’s car broke down? He had to be toad

🍀What is tall when it is young but short when it is old? A candle!

🍀What type of haircuts do bees get? Buzz cuts!

🍀Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school!

🍀Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them

🍀Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!

🍀How do you keep an astronauts baby from crying? You Rocket!

🍀Why did the math book need to see a counselor? Because it was full of problems!

🍀What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court

🍀Why was the picture sent to jail? Because it was framed!

🍀Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!

🍀What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

🍀Why aren’t koalas actual bears? The don’t meet the koalafications

🍀What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

🍀What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weakdays!

🍀What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!

🍀What do you get if you combine a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!

🍀What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

🍀Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!

🍀What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers

🍀Why don’t you ever see giraffes in elementary school? They are all in High School!

🍀What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something!

🍀What do you call an alligator in a vest? In Investigator!

🍀Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Because he was a Fun-Guy

🍀What do call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese

🍀How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!

🍀What did one hat say to another?

🍀What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved

🍀Have you seen the movie “Constipated”? No, it hasn’t come out yet!

🍀Where do pencils go for vacation? Pencil-vania

🍀Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless

🍀Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it’s a little meteor

🍀What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

🍀You stay here, I’ll go on a head

🍀Why is the baseball stadium so cold? Because it’s full of fans!

🍀Why would you smear peanut butter on a road? To go with the traffic jam!

🍀Why didn’t dinosaurs eat clowns? Because they taste funny!

🍀How do hens cheer for their team? They egg them on!

🍀Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!

🍀What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

🍀Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was going to be a piece of cake

🍀Why do ducks make great police officers? Because they always quack the case

🍀Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves? A Panda

🍀What do you call an old snowman? Water

🍀Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

🍀What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waste of time!

🍀How does NASA organize a party? They planet

🍀What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield

🍀What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!

🍀What type of tree can you hold in one hand? A Palm Tree!

🍀Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was “out standing” in his field

🍀What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!!!!!!!

🍀What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!

🍀Where do hamburgers take their dance on Valentine’s Day? The Meat Ball!

🍀Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!

🍀Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet

🍀What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice Cream!

🍀Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!

🍀Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!

🍀Why didn’t the Teddy Bear eat dessert? Because he was stuffed!

🍀What did one eye say to the other eye? Don’t look now, but something between us smells

🍀What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison

🍀Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr

🍀What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm!

🍀What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor

🍀What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t peak, I’m changing!

🍀Why should you never tell a pig your secret? Because it is sure to squeal

🍀Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his doody

🍀What is the skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!

🍀What did the thumb say to the finger? I’m in Glove with you!

🍀What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Really funny jokes

Having fun is important and it’s good for morale and health. So we’ve selected some good jokes for you to laugh like cows on days when it’s gray or your boss is pissing you off. Suffice to say that we will see you often here! Once humorous, always humorous. After giving you many examples of funny childish jokes we invite you to discover a new series of really funny jokes.

🔹What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee

🔹How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints

🔹What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I’ll go ahead

🔹How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it

🔹I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity!

🔹Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food

🔹Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends

🔹If you receive a picture of some meat in a tin from me at your email address. Don’t worry it’s just spam

🔹A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!

🔹Why did the baby strawberry cry? His parents were in a jam

🔹Have you heard about Murphy’s Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole’s Law? No. It’s julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing

🔹Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? He was a little horse

🔹How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms

🔹What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

🔹How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles

🔹What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler

🔹What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits

🔹I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me

🔹Want to hear a roof joke? The first one’s on the house

🔹What do you call a boring dinosaur? A dino-snore!

🔹What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me!

🔹I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it

🔹I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. “Hardbacks?” asked the shopkeeper.”Yes,” I replied. “And they have little heads, too

🔹A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals

🔹Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

🔹How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps

🔹Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood

🔹Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn’t want to be spotted

🔹Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? He’s a little shellfish

🔹What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet

🔹Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall

🔹What’s sticky and brown? A stick!

🔹What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain

🔹Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights

🔹What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed

🔹I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting

🔹Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? The Meat Ball!

🔹Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he’s a pain in the neck

🔹Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Every play has a cast

🔹What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!

🔹I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger, and then it hit me

🔹Why was the tomato red? Because he saw the salad dressing

🔹Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here

🔹What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler

🔹What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment

🔹What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Pop

🔹Why don’t koalas count as bears? They don’t have the right koalafications

🔹What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque

🔹It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans

🔹Why is the grass so dangerous? It’s full of blades

🔹Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore

🔹What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away

🔹How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten-tickles

🔹How does NASA organize a party? They planet

🔹How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints

🔹How does a farmer mend his overalls? With cabbage patches

🔹What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe, man! Breathe!

🔹What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi bud!

🔹Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked

🔹I used to be addicted to not showering. Luckily, I’ve been clean for five years

🔹To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

🔹My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!

🔹Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when she went the extra mile

🔹How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it

🔹Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one

🔹How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button!

🔹Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!

🔹Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle

🔹Can February March? No, but April May!

🔹What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other’s a little lighter

🔹Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!

🔹Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks

🔹What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? Beer

🔹A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder

🔹What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison

🔹What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest

🔹What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow

🔹A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please

🔹What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down

🔹How did the black cats end their fight? They hissed and made up

🔹A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, “We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, “Who names a drink ‘Steve?

🔹What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!

🔹Where was King David’s temple located? Beside his ear

🔹People think “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why

🔹Why are there gates surrounding cemeteries? People are dying to get in

🔹What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes

🔹What do you call a factory that sells good products? A satis-factory

Super funny jokes

These are the jokes that make the little ones laugh because while they recontact them they feel the sense of the forbidden, they know they are trespassing into a severe territory and it is the thing that amuses them the most. Read down below super funny jokes to make your children and everyone else laugh. Also read these dad jokes for more fun and jokes to tell your friends and family. 

🔶It’s no fun telling jokes to cattle; they’ve herd it all

🔶What did the zebra say the first time he saw a piano? “Dad?

🔶What kinds of pictures do hermit crabs take? Shellfies

🔶Did you see the documentary about beavers? It was the best dam show I ever saw!

🔶Do you want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind. It’s tearable

🔶What do you get a man with the heart of a lion? A lifetime ban from the zoo

🔶Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle

🔶Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can’t croak

🔶What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree? A branch manager

🔶What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows

🔶I can’t tell if this fish is lying; she’s being so koi

🔶Crustaceans only think of themselves. They’re so shellfish

🔶How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints

🔶Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece!

🔶I witnessed an attempted murder earlier—fortunately only one crow showed up!

🔶The marine biology seminars weren’t created for entertainment, but for educational porpoises

🔶On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it

🔶A company is making glass coffins. Whether they’re successful remains to be seen

🔶One horse said to another, “Your pace is familiar, but I don’t remember the mane

🔶What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!

🔶What does a baby computer call its father? Data

🔶What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye, matey!

🔶Why did Cyclops close his school? He only had one pupil

🔶Why don’t oysters donate to charity? They’re shellfish

🔶Did you hear about the beautiful wedding? Even the cake was in tiers

🔶What’s the action like at a circus? In-tents

🔶What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast

🔶Why did the baby cookie cry? Its mother was a wafer so long

🔶The tuna married the swordfish because he was such a catch

🔶Did you hear about the mediocre restaurant on the moon? It has great food but no atmosphere

🔶Why don’t dinosaurs talk? Because they’re dead

🔶Why did the calf need to go to bed? Her mother told her it was pasture bedtime

🔶Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint

🔶This reef is the strongest part of the ocean because it has so many mussels

🔶After the horse ate all of his hay, he had a baleful look about him

🔶What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus

🔶What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil

🔶What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

🔶Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side!

🔶What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!

🔶The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line

🔶The fish are getting annoying with their octopus neighbor. He tentacles late at night

🔶Why did the coffee call the police? It got mugged!

🔶What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds

🔶What did one wall say to the other? Meet me at the corner!

🔶What happens when you witness a ship wreck? You let it sink in

🔶Why are colds bad criminals? They’re easy to catch

🔶The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card

🔶Why are there fences around cemeteries? Everyone’s always dying to get in

🔶Which knight invented King Arthur’s Round Table? Sir Cumference

🔶What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1

🔶You can’t make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad. It’s a faux pa

🔶Why was the goose jealous of the sheep? Her husband kept saying “I love ewe

🔶What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter

🔶If you hear it from the horse’s mouth, you’re listening to a neigh-sayer

🔶Why did the snowman pick through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose

🔶What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish

🔶What did one bean say to the other? How you bean?

🔶Marine mammals are simply otter this world

🔶What’s big, gray and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant

🔶Two fish are in a tank. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Do you know how to drive this thing?

🔶What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

🔶The pig got out again, but don’t worry — I tractor down

🔶What did the teacher do with the student’s report on cheese? She grated it

🔶What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy and one is a little lighter

🔶How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together

🔶The farmer bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it

🔶How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

🔶Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Then it’d be a foot

🔶Have you heard the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it

🔶How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents

Best short jokes

A series of funny jokes that have made history: you will never forget one of these best short jokes because is funny and full of emotions. Each joke is a story built to create a spontaneous smile in the listener. Who hasn’t happened to say during one evening … hey, but you remember what she did … and then tell a good joke. Read down below best short jokes for everyone to laugh. You can use these jokes as pick un line at your dates with the girl you want to impress.

🔸What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant

🔸I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them

🔸What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus

🔸What has four wheels and flies? Garbage truck

🔸Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties? He was a fun-gi!

🔸A nurse told me, “Sorry for the wait!” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient

🔸The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa

🔸Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing

🔸What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear

🔸Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me

🔸The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large

🔸Why won’t it hurt if you hit your friend with a 2-liter of soda? Because it’s a soft drink!

🔸A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200

🔸It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

🔸I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now

🔸Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

🔸You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

🔸You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart

🔸Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space

🔸I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

🔸Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage

🔸What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus

🔸Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered

🔸Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies

🔸I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that

🔸Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot!

🔸Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam

🔸A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything

🔸Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender

🔸Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them

🔸There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

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