A friend or daughter of yours has finally reached the milestone that all teenagers dream of: the 18th birthday! The party is organized, the guest list is now ready and the location for the eighteenth has been decided. But to make everything more beautiful, jokes for the birthday of the celebrated 18 cannot be missing. Try to think of something funny and embarrassing, but not overly bad: you don’t want the goliardic moment to turn into an unpleasant memory.
Having friends to laugh and joke with is very important. Even when we are taken up by study, work and responsibilities, we must always try to find some space to dedicate to our friendships. Friends see each other in times of need, but it is also true that they must be there even when there is fun. Continue to read and use these funny jokes for adults to send it to friends on different occasions.
Funny jokes for adults clean
These are the funniest and most ironic quotes and aphorisms about friendship. These are nice phrases that you can send to your friends or that you can dedicate to someone who is important to you on the occasion of a special event. Laughing together with friends is beautiful but there are some things we should all say more to our best friend. Use these funny jokes for adults clean and send them to make them laugh.
😂What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!
😂What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? The man.
😂What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman? Men can push the microwave’s buttons and still turn it on.
😂How much did you pay for those pants? Because you can get them 100% off at my place.
😂As things got heated, the doctor shouted at his wife, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” and then he stormed out of the room and went to work.
😂What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year.
😂Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. One sperm asked the other, ‘‘How far till we reach the fallopian tubes?” The other replied, “Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus.
😂There was a long delay before she finally answered. “What took you so long to answer?” asked the doctor.
😂What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Gum!
😂They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
😂What does Pinocchio’s lover say to him? Lie to me! Lie to me!What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
😂#Is your name highway? Because I want to ride you all night long.
😂Let’s play Titanic, you’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.
😂What did the O say to the Q? Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
😂What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
😂 What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
😂Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals.
😂How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
😂What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name? Papa Boner.
😂Are you a balloon? Because I want to blow you.
😂What do boobs and toys have in common? Th.
😂What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
😂What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
😂What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? It’s not what it looks like!
😂What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed.
😂What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings.
😂What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
😂What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? Cherry float!
😂I’m always on top of important things. Would you like to be on the list?
😂What’s the difference between “Ooh” and “Aah”? About three inches.
😂What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird.
😂What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
😂What do you call two jalapenos getting it on? Fucking hot!
😂A doctor and his wife were having a big argument over breakfast one morning.
😂What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? Her navel.
😂What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
😂Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
😂What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!
😂What’s long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine!
😂What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
😂What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
😂Are you from China? Cause I’m China get in those pants.
😂If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
😂A couple of hours later he was feeling guilty about what he’d said so he decided to call his wife to apologize.
😂Are you an elevator? Because I wanna go up and down on you.
😂What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off.
😂Do you have a switch? Because I want to turn you on.
😂What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
😂What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
😂Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
😂What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-Lott-o-puss.
😂What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.
😂What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
😂Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.
Funny dirty jokes for adults
Friendship is above all fun. There’s nothing like sharing good times with friends, even the stupidest, the most embarrassing ones. True friends know everything about you, the bullshit made as children, or worse still as adults, the various fools collected over the years… the beauty of friendship is just that, sharing everything and laughing together, even about mistakes. These funny dirty jokes for adults are the best to share with friends or on social media.
🔅What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
🔅Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because it kept saying Bach, bach, bach.
🔅What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.
🔅What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
🔅What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
🔅How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!
🔅What time is it when you find an elephant in your car? Time to get a new car. If you like this corny joke, you’ll also like these 15 great elephant puns.
🔅Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
🔅Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
🔅Why did the cookie go to the doctors? Because he felt crummy.
🔅What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback!
🔅What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
🔅Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.
🔅When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
🔅What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up? Dino-sore.
🔅An Italian chef has died. He pasta way.
🔅What job did the frog have at the hotel? Bellhop.
🔅What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
🔅What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.
🔅What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satis-factory.
🔅When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.
🔅Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The old Volks home.
🔅What chain can you eat? A food chain.
🔅How much does a Mustang cost? More than you can af-Ford.
🔅What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.
🔅What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
🔅What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
🔅Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
🔅Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
🔅What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
🔅What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You’re looking sharp.
🔅What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
🔅Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? You shouldn’t press your luck.
🔅What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block.
🔅How do billboards talk? Sign language.
🔅Which school subject was the witch’s favorite? Spelling.
🔅The giraffes weren’t hired as staff in the hotel as they are high maintenance. If you think this joke is witty, you’ll definitely love these awesome giraffe puns, so please check ‘ em out now.
🔅What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
🔅How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.
🔅How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
🔅What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
🔅What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
🔅What’s a didgeridoo? Whatever it wants to.
🔅How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.
🔅What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.What do you call a group of disorganized cats? Cat-astrophe.
🔅What would bears be without bees? Ears.
🔅What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
🔅What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.
🔅Did you hear about the population of Ireland? It’s Dublin.
🔅Did you hear I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.
🔅Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
🔅How do snails fight? They slug it out.
🔅How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
🔅What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells.
🔅Why do bananas wear sun cream? To stop them from peeling.
🔅Why don’t lobsters like to share? They’re shellfish.
🔅Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.
🔅Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
🔅How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.
🔅How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes.
🔅What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
🔅How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide the spade.
🔅What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable. If you like this joke, you’ll also like these horse puns.
🔅What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.
Funny dirty jokes for adults
Among the various kinds of jokes, those defined as dirty and designed, therefore, for adults, certainly find a prominent place. The theme on which they revolve is easy to guess, but also a certainty in terms of laughter and hilarious jokes. Dirty jokes are jokes, which you can’t share with anyone, like with your relatives. But to impress anyone, you can share them. Read down below and choose the best funny dirty jokes for adults to share it with friends.
🌼What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
🌼What did the sperm bank receptionist say to the clients before they left? ‘Thanks for coming!
🌼Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? Marriage.
🌼What rhymes with kick? Pick (dirty mind joke).
🌼What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
🌼What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They can both smell it but can’t eat it.
🌼What’s the difference between a job and marriage? A job still sucks after 10 years.
🌼What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus.
🌼What did the sex toy store employee say to the customers before closing for the night? ‘It’s time for you to beat it!
🌼What’s white and 14 inches long? Nothing.
🌼What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
🌼What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop this sh*t.
🌼Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need a better grip.
🌼What’s the best thing about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
🌼What’s the best waterslide for kids? Your throat.
🌼What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The other is a great year.
🌼What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? Women always exaggerate how big it is.
🌼What’s the difference between me/you and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it.
🌼How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
🌼What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear and one’s a great year.
🌼What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
🌼What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.
🌼What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The Head nurse.
🌼Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? He came out of nowhere.
🌼What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
🌼What did one saggy boob say to the other? ‘If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
🌼What did the man say to the police officer who told him, ‘Anything you say can and will be held against you?’ ‘Boobs!
🌼How is life like a penis? It sometimes get hard when you least expect it.
🌼What’s the difference between you and the refrigerator? The refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it.
🌼Why does Santa have such a heavy sack? He only comes once a year.
🌼What’s still together after all the sh*t they’ve been through? Your butt cheeks.
🌼What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.
🌼How is a thunderstorm similar to sex? You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.
🌼Are you a coconut? I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out.
🌼Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
🌼Why are women like Popeye’s? Because once you’re done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in.
🌼Do you need a carpenter? Because I could nail you then hammer you.
🌼If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
🌼What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker could wash her crack and resell it.
🌼What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? My zipper.
🌼How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? Because his right hand caught on fire.
🌼What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? Drumstick.
🌼What did the elephant say to the naked man? ‘How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
🌼Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? Because one has two lips and one has two heads.
🌼Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? Because the old one has shaky hands.
Corny funny jokes for adults
🔺Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine now, she woke up.
🔺Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Every play has a cast.
🔺Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
🔺Why was the broom late for work? It over-swept. Did you hear I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.
🔺What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
🔺How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
🔺Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
🔺Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
🔺What do skateboards and magicians have in common? They both do tricks.
🔺What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
🔺Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle!
🔺What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
🔺Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
🔺Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
🔺How do you define a farmer? Someone who is good in their field.
🔺Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
🔺Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He wanted to find Pluto!
🔺What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
🔺What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
🔺What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
🔺Why is the grass so dangerous? It’s full of blades.
🔺What do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits.
🔺What do you call a man named David without an ID? Dav.
🔺What did the policeman say to the belly button? “You’re under a-vest.
🔺What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
🔺What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
🔺What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
🔺What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
🔺Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
🔺What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
🔺Why are there gates surrounding cemeteries? People are dying to get in.
🔺What kind of tree has a hand? A palm tree.
🔺What do you call a boring dinosaur? A dino-snore!
🔺Why don’t you buy things with Velcro? It’s a rip-off.
🔺What do you call a singing laptop? A dell.
🔺How do cyclists train for their sport? Recycling.
🔺What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield!
🔺Why did the photo go to jail? Because it was framed.
🔺How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
🔺If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there are pancakes.
🔺Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
🔺What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
🔺What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
🔺What kind of cheese isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
🔺What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat? A boa constructor.
🔺I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
🔺Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
🔺What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
🔺What did the ocean say when it was asked on a date? “Shore.
🔺Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!
🔺Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
🔺Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen? Because it’s pointless.
🔺What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
🔺What did the science book say to the math book? Wow, you’ve got problems.
🔺Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired.
🔺What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
🔺What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie talkie.
🔺What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.
🔺What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
🔺Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
🔺What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
🔺What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A con descending.
🔺What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
🔺Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
🔺Why don’t trees take the bus? They can never decide on a root.
🔺What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
🔺Why did the baby strawberry cry? His parents were in a jam.
🔺What does a house put on to work? A dress.
🔺Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn’t want to be spotted.
🔺What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.
🔺Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
🔺What did the elevator say when it sneezed? I think I’m coming down with something.
🔺Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
[…] laugh for centuries, regardless of their age. Kids, grandparents and everyone else have fun with a funny joke. Sure, the best knock knock jokes may be a little corny, but that’s part of the fun. Since killer […]
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